Pointing the 'Fun Finger' at You!

I finally took advantage of the whole 'watch your painfully obscure cult movie online since we don't carry the DVD, you hipster doofus' feature on Netflix a few nights ago and I have to say it wasn't all that bad. Granted, next go around, i'll probably fire it up from the comfort of my la-z-boy via laptop and headphones versus sitting in front of our desktop for an hour and a half.

That said, the time spent in that crappy, uncomfortable office chair seemed to float by while I watched the cinematic brilliance that is 'Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine'. I'm not kidding either...this flick was the perfect blend of movie genres that I hold near and dear to my heart. Spy flick? Sci-Fi flick? Horror flick? Sex Comedy flick? Beach Party/Surf flick? How about...all of the above, kids!

You can really tell that it was released by American International Pictures, kings of teenage-targeted beach and b-movie horror. AIP co-founder, Samuel Z. Arkoff, related his tried-and-true 'ARKOFF Formula' for producing a successful low-budget movie years later, during a 1980s talk show appearance. This lucrative formula for producing low-budget films that teenagers would eat up like candy:

Action (exciting, entertaining drama)
Revolution (novel or controversial themes and ideas)
Killing (a modicum of violence)
Oratory (notable dialogue and speeches)
Fantasy (acted-out fantasies common to the audience)
Fornication (sex appeal, for young adults)

'Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine' follows said recipe to the hilt and hits all the sweet spots in each category. It's done in such a camp, silly way that you could only find around 1965...when you didn't have to stick your dick in an apple pie to make somebody laugh. Yet, it remains completely wholesome by today's standards without losing any of the entertainment value.

Anway, Dr. Goldfoot (played by the flawless Vincent Price) is a mad scientist who, with the questionable assistance of his resurrected flunky Igor, builds a gang of golden bikini-clad female robots who are dispatched to both seduce and rob wealthy men. His plan ends up being thwarted by secret agent Frankie Avalon and millionaire bachelor Dwayne 'Dobie Gillis' Hickman, who've both fallen for Robot #11. Said Robot is played by the smoking-hot Susan Hart, who would go on to star in another AIP classic, 'The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini' (to be reviewed later).

I'm telling you, this film is the gift that keeps on giving all year round and you need to treat yourself to it right away. Like I said, you can watch it online via Netflix or order it via your favorite online DVD retailer. Still not convinced?! Peep the trailer and thank me later: